Diseases A to Z
by Bridge7112
Summary: SasoDei one shots! K is for Kidney Stones!
1. Prologue

Hiya peeps and welcome to my newest SasoDei story! This first chapter is just an explanation to my newest story, don't worry the next chapter is the actually story, well stories. I am writing a collection of oneshots, each about a specific disease. I am going from A to Z, twenty seven one shots. Some will be a highschool setting, some may be in the Naruto world, others could be in the oddest place you could imagine! Expect the unexpected, totally quoted that from the Looney Tunes show but oh well. If this little prologue-ish thing hasn't scared you off reader, then go ahead to the next chapter for the first oneshot! Enojy!


	2. A is for Asthma!

"Come on Sasori feel the power of youth!" The gym teacher screamed.

The students at Konoha highschool were forced to un around a track dozens of times for their forty minute gym period. It almost made Sasori miss the days of middle school where a doctor's note was enough to get you out of gym class for good. However here their gym teacher had declared his asthma nonsense, and insisted he be treated like every other student, something Sasori didn't like.

Sweat was already covering him, and he was constantly pushing the hair out of his red, flushed face.

Finally he stopped; he didn't care if he got a zero anymore. He needed to take a break; his chest was starting to hurt, badly.

"Sasori Danna?" he looked up to see one of the freshmen looking at him. Of course this wasn't your average freshmen, his name was Deidara Iwa. He was a blonde, a cute looking one, not that Sasori would ever mention that out loud. He followed Sasori, who was a junior, like a puppy, constantly adoring the redhead. Although Sasori appreciated the attention it was embarrassing. He was a junior after all, with friends in the junior and senior class. It was humiliating to have a freshman for a friend.

"Go away brat." Sasori hissed, and Deidara looked hurt. "And quit calling me that!"

"But Danna un." Sasori turned away from the blonde and rolled his eyes noticing Hidan and Kisame already pointing at the blonde following the redhead.

Guy shook his head. "Sasori I understand you do have girlfriends, but now is the time for physical exercise! You can make out later."

At that Sasori turned even redder.

'I'm a guy un!" Deidara yelled angrily at Guy. Guy stared for a moment before shrugging.

Sasori looked at Deidara. "Look just get out of here brat."

"But Danna." Before Deidara could finish Sasori went back to jogging. Soon the bell rang and everyone headed inside to change. Sasori noticed Deidara sulking out of the corner of his eye, but shrugged it off. The blonde brat would be fine.

"Sasori!" Guy's voice made him freeze and turn around. "I believe you have a few more laps to make up."

"You're kidding right?" Sasori asked, giving his best cold glare at Guy. "Look I have classes to get to, and if you don't mind I don't like to keep my teachers waiting."

"Well the faster you get this done the sooner you can go to class." Sasori groaned, he knew Guy was as solid as a rock when it came to talking about exercise. To him it was everything.

Sasori groaned and got back on the track. The pain in his chest was increasing and it was getting harder to breathe. He could whine and bitch about it, but there was no doubt that would lead to a detention. He honestly had no intention of staying after school with Hidan again; the silver haired Jashinist always got detention. He still had scars from the last time he'd had detention and allowed the Jashinist to perform his rituals on the non-believer.

"Alright Sasori go change!" Guy yelled, ad Sasori sighed with relief, the sweat pouring down his body. He was already late, he didn't see a point in not taking a shower. However all these plans were put off as soon as he stepped into the locker room. His chest constricted painfully, and he dropped like a rock, trying to breathe. Of course he'd have an attack, when nobody was in the locker room. He tried dragging himself to his bag, his precious inhaler. The lack of oxygen made him stop and he tried to take deep breaths, still lacking oxygen.

"Sasori Danna?" came a curious voice. "I just wanted you to know, you're a real jerk un!"

Sasori groaned, of course the blonde would be pissed, and the last words he'd hear were the freshmen's whines. "I mean just because I'm younger un doesn't mean you can treat me like I'm garbage!"

"Brat." He whispered weakly, praying that the brat would realize something was wrong and come to his aid. The door to the locker room slamming shut dashed Sasori's hopes. Of course he'd leave, Sasori didn't deserve his help.

Suddenly someone was forcing him into a sitting position. He looked up weakly to see yellow, the blonde?

"Bag." He wheezed and the person ran off, and soon was back with his bag. Sasori could feel his life fading. "Inhaler!" he hissed, slumping to the floor. He felt his inhaler pressed to his mouth and the medication being administered. He breathed deeply, his lungs sucking in much needed oxygen. He breathed deeply until the spots faded and he could sit up, still taking deep breaths. He looked to his side, only to see Deidara looking at him nervously.

"Brat?"

"Just relax Danna un." Said Deidara, clearly panicked and having no idea what to do. "I'll go get the nurse un!"

"I don't need it brat." Sasori said, pushing himself up.

"No un! You're sick."

"I'm not sick brat, I have asthma. I can't breathe as well as most people can."

"But why do you have gym then un?"

"Because Guy is an immobile rock on the subject." said Sasori. Deidara was still nervous and didn't smile.

"But you are sick un." Sasori smirked, and gently pushed himself up. Deidara stood up next to him, watching his Danna closely. Sasori lost his balance after a step, only to have Deidara catch him quickly. "Catch your breath un, don't rush." Sasori nodded and kept breathing, Deidara watching him closely.

"You don't need to stress so much." Sasori said after being watched by Deidara's eagle eyes for five minutes.

"But you could." Deidara froze as Sasori pulled him into his chest.

Immediately Deidara blushed. "Danna un?"

"I told you to relax." said Sasori, rubbing his hand into the blonde's hair. Deidara knew he had to look after his Danna, but the soft rubbing felt so good. "I'm sorry brat."

Deidara froze, his Danna was apologizing? Was the world ending?

"You saved my life."

"Anyone would've done it un." said Deidara shyly.

"But you're the one who did." Deidara smiled and cuddled into his Danna's chest.

"Deidara."

"Yeah Danna?"

"How would you like to sit next to me in art tomorrow?" Every inch of Deidara's being wanted him to scream with joy and throw himself at his Danna.

"That's cool un." said Deidara. Soon Sasori was able to get up, much to Deidara's disappointment.

"Walk with me brat."

"Really un!"

"Come on."

Soon the freshman was following his Danna, a happiness welling in his chest he'd never felt before.


	3. B is for Burns!

Alright I know burns aren't a disease but I couldn't resist, it's so Deidara XD.

* * *

><p>Sasori sighed with boredom. In their school they thought it best to have a student help out the nurse, nobody really knew the reason. The school said it was so that people could learn how to treat minor injuries and how to deal with medical situations, but Sasori knew it was just so the nurse could do whatever she wanted and let the students do the hard work. He looked around the office. There was a desk, filing cabinets, a bathroom, a sink, beds, and dozens of cabinets filled with medicines and padlocked so that nobody could steal them. Sasori stayed in his seat, wondering what the hell he could do at the moment. It was annoying, he hated to be kept waiting, however wishing for a medical emergency just seemed wrong. The door to the nurse's office slammed open, scaring Sasori and nearly making him jump.<p>

"Sasori san!" Oh great, Tobi had come to annoy him.

"Tobi can't you see I'm." He looked up from the desk, only to see the masked boy supporting a very familiar blonde. Sasori was the in a second, taking Deidara in his own arms.

"What happened?" Sasori asked angrily, only to realize his tone and look apologetically at the scared boy. "

We had a lab in chemistry." Tobi explained, "And senpai's blew up."

If Deidara wasn't moaning in pain Sasori would've laughed and muttered that it was typical of Deidara.

"Alright I've got it from here Tobi." The younger nodded and Sasori knew he wanted to stay but couldn't. "You should go back to class."

"Right Sasori san." said Tobi sadly, and with the he walked out, but before closing the door he turned around. "Take care of senpai!" and then shut the door.

Sasori was frozen, until Deidara moaned again.

Right, Deidara had to be treated. He picked up Deidara bridal style and carried him over to one of the bed, laying him down. He then pulled the blonde's shirt off, examining the damage. Parts of his face were burned, it was a bright red color. His eyes were untouched and closed as he breathed. His chest was burned, not badly, but still burned, and there were shards of glass in his chest, cheeks, and arms.

"Danna un?" Sasori looked down to see the blonde's eyes opened and looking at him. The blonde smiled gently.

"Brat what the hell did you do to yourself?" asked Sasori amused.

Deidara smirked. "I thought you'd be lonely un."

Sasori glared at him angrily. "You did this on purpose!"

"It was just boiling water un." said Deidara with a shrug.

"Then how did it explode?"

Deidara merely smiled and Sasori gently poked one of the burns on the blonde's stomach. "Ahh, Danna un! That hurts!" he whimpered.

"Of course it hurts brat." said Sasori irritated. He walked over to the medicine cabinet, pulling out a vile of something that was as scarlet red as his hair and a syringe. He also pulled out a tube of something and another bottle before closing the cabinet and locking it. He put everything on a small table and dragged it next to the blonde's bed. He then walked back to the nurse's desk pulling out a roll of bandages and tweezers, then returning to the blonde. He filled the syringe with the red liquid, flicking it to get the air out.

"What's that un?" There was a tone of fear in the blonde's voice and he looked down to see the blonde actually looking scared.

"It'll numb you." Said Sasori calmly, "Now hold still." Deidara was still trembling, and Sasori sighed. "How did I know this was going to happen?"

"Un?" with that Sasori walked back to the cabinets, placing the red liquid away, this time pulling out another container, then relocked it and walked back. "What's that un?" he asked trembling as Sasori sealed the syringe and threw it away. He then put on a pair of gloves and unscrewed the jar. "Danna?"

"It's a topical anesthetic." Deidara looked at him confused. Sasori placed some of the goo on his hand noting Deidara's eyes watching him.

"It'll make the pain go away." He gently rubbed the goo onto Deidara's chest, careful of the shards of glass. He then rubbed it onto the blonde's arms, once again being careful of the burns. Deidara had loved the cool feeling of the goo, and now relaxed as he felt his chest and arms go numb. He then felt his Danna's careful fingers on his face, rubbing the stuff onto his cheeks. Soon he was completely numbed and relaxed, the burns only feeling like an odd source of heat.

"Well at least you gave me something to do brat." muttered Sasori. He pulled out the tweezers and began picking the glass out, piece by piece. Judging by Deidara's serene face he felt nothing. Soon the cuts were disinfected, cleaned, and bandaged properly. Deidara looked up when Sasori was placing bandages on his cheeks.

"Danna?"

"Feeling ok brat?" Deidara nodded. "Then stay still."

This was a command and Deidara froze up. Sasori then rubbed burn cream on the blonde's cheeks, and then went to his chest. Deidara shuddered at the cold cream, but let out a sigh relief as the heat disappeared. Sasori then bandaged the blonde up.

"Done brat."

"Alright Danna un." Deidara was about to get up, when Sasori stopped him. "Danna?"

"You're staying here brat."

"Un?"

"I want to observe your injuries, now lay back down." Deidara rolled his eyes and laid back down on the bed.

"But it's boring here Danna."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have burned yourself in the first place." Deidara sighed and began counting the spots on the ceiling. The numbing cream was wearing off, and soon his body began to throb with pain. He sat up, only to notice his Danna busy with something.

"Danna un?"

"Brat I thought I said."

"It hurts un." Sasori scowled before getting something once again from the cabinets. He brought the blonde a glass of water which he drank quickly. In seconds the blonde felt sleepy, and looked up at Sasori.

"You drugged me un."

"I don't like seeing you in pain." He felt the soft kiss of his Danna on his forehead.

"Now go to sleep."

Deidara smiled and nuzzled his covers, letting sleep take him over.


	4. C is for Campylobacteriosis!

Another quick little author's note, sorry guys, just so you know C and D were switched so Deidara has C and Sasori has D, after these chapters it will go back to its normal pattern. Also this chapter has mentions of very watery, bloody, poop so if you have a sensitive stomach don't read. For those of you who don't know this disease that I don't want to type again is similar to food poisoning.

* * *

><p>Deidara groaned as he tried to return to the camp he and Sasori had made, only to feel the need to go to the bathroom once more and run right back into the bushes.<p>

He and Sasori were traveling to the Jomae Village in The Land of Keys. Apparently they were excellent negotiators, and had access to information the Akatsuki could find useful. So he and Sasori were going there to convince them to hand over the records. Deidara groaned, that is if he ever made it.

The night before Deidara had gotten hungry while they were traveling, and thanks to Sasori's impatience they had stopped at some tiny run down food stand to get something for the bomber. Sasori had tried to cover it up saying it's be less conspicuous but Deidara knew the truth.

He actually had no idea what he'd eaten the previous night, but whatever it was it had tasted disgusting.

He'd been fine the night before and all day today, however when they'd set up camp everything went downhill for him. He had to constantly use the bathroom, and trust me it was disgusting. At first he thought it had just been the runs, but it didn't seem like that was the case as it got more and more frequent. What was starting to freak him out was the fact the last time he'd gone there had been blood in it, not a lot but still blood wasn't supposed to come out there, was it?

Then the pain had come in his stomach, and he was positive he'd had a fever, Then again his body felt so warm right now he honestly couldn't tell.

He walked back to the camp, which was set up in a cave, only to see Sasori waiting for him by the entrance of the cave.

"You kept me waiting brat." he growled as the blonde walked up.

"Sorry Danna un." Deidara apologized, trying to ignore the harshness of his master's words like he always did. He saw Sasori had started a fire, and he sat down near it; however he couldn't feel the warmth from it. He'd been hot seconds ago, but that had changed into a feeling of cold, he felt his body shiver as he laid down. The pain was back in his stomach and he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to stop it.

He had the urge to use the bathroom again, but he couldn't get up right now, everything hurt and he was freezing, and, and…

"Brat." Deidara looked up to see Sasori looking at him. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean un?"

"I mean usually by now you'd either be bugging the crap out of me or working on your so called art." He rolled his eyes and put venom into the last words of his sentence.

Deidara just wanted to sleep, he wanted the pain to go away and he wanted to sleep. "Sorry un, I'm just not in the mood." He muttered before cradling up again.

However Sasori didn't let it drop, and a second later Deidara felt his cloak being ripped away from him.

"Danna!" he whimpered, almost like a baby, and he hated to do so, but he didn't feel good.

He looked to see Sasori standing next to him. "What's wrong brat."

"My, my stomach hurts un." Deidara said, looking away from the puppet master.

Sasori scoffed, "Your stomach? You're an S ranked criminal and you're complaining about your belly hurting?" The last words were mocking, and Deidara groaned, then leaned against Sasori's leg.

Sasori was about to complain, when his leg immediately heated up. Sasori couldn't feel texture, but he could still determine hot from cold. Deidara looked up at him, surprised to see Sasori crouched next to him. Sasori cautiously placed his hand on Deidara's forehead only to be surprised.

"You have a fever." Deidara moaned again, before flopping to the ground.

Sasori's first response was not worrying about his partner; it was shit now the mission is going to be delayed.

Sasori glanced at the shivering blonde and realized he still had the brat's cloak in his hands. He placed it back over the blonde, and for good measure removed Hiruko's cloak and placed that on the blonde too. He sat near his partner watching him, until the blonde struggled to get up.

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom un." he said, nearly falling over. Sasori sighed, helping the blonde first find a spot, then holding him up as he went. Sure it was disgusting, but if he didn't do it here he'd do it in the cave.

Soon they were back in the cave, Deidara unable to fall asleep because of the pain.

"Drink." His eyes widened as Sasori put something to his lips. "Drink it." he hissed, and Deidara swallowed the liquid, wondering if Sasori was planning to kill him off for good. He flet sleepy and his eyes drooped shut.

He felt someone pushing the hair out of his face, and then nothing.

* * *

><p>The next few days tormented Sasori, not even Orochimaru had ever gotten this sick. He continuously fed the blonde a poison, not a deadly one but one that would keep the blonde asleep.<p>

He knew some things about disease, like how the body fought them better if the patient was asleep.

He hated hearing Deidara's cries of pain, the scary giggles of his fever dreams, and the brat's constant need to use the bathroom. At first it had gotten more and more bloody, but now it was better.

The blonde was resting peacefully for the first time, and for once Sasori was happy he was a puppet so he couldn't catch whatever the hell Deidara had suffered from.

"Danna un?" The soft voice made him look at the blonde to see half opened eyes filled with exhaustion. He walked over, only to feel the blonde's forehead much cooler.

"Your fever's broken Deidara, go back to sleep."

"I'm cold un." Sasori gared at him. Deidara's fever had gotten so bad he's even used his own cloack to cover the blonde.

Sasori frowned, then sat down next to the blonde, pulling him into his lap. Deidara's eyes widened in surprise, before relaxing into his Danna's chest.

Sasori stared for a second, before smiling slightly and running his fingers through the blonde's silky hair.


	5. D is for Dementia

Deidara smiled as he walked upstairs to his lover's room. He had already made breakfast, and knowing that the redhead was now a late sleeper he usually brought breakfast up. He pushed open the door with his hip.

"Good Morning Un!" He yelled causing the bundle in the bed to immediately jump and shoot up. The redhead stared at Deidara for a few seconds nervously, before relaxing and giving him a smile in return.

"Brat."

"Well good morning to you." said Deidara pretending to be offended. He placed the breakfast tray in front of the redhead. "I got up early un."

Sasori nodded, Deidara always woke up earlier than he did.

Deidara fornwed watching his lover nod, he'd already forgotten how every morning he'd wake up before Deidara. How he'd be the one doing this for the sleepy blonde.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Sasori's attempt at feeding himself. As usual he'd abandoned the spoon and fork and gone straight to using his fingers.

"No Danna." said Deidara with a giggle as he corrected the older male. Sasori stared at him annoyed and huffed turning himself away from the blonde. Diedara smiled cutting a piece of French toast for the redhead and offering it to him on the fork. "Danna you don't have to be so stubborn un, I can feed you. You know I don't mind."

Sasori glanced at the blonde as his stomach growled. He glared at the blonde.

"I know un, this isn't the last I'll here of it." The redhead smiled and took the bite of food. Deidara smiled and coaxed the redhead onto his lap and continued to feed him.

It had been like this ever since the redhead had been diagnosed with dementia. Nobody knew how he'd gotten it so young, but Deidara was forced to watch as his Danna changed. He slept later and woke up in the middle of the night calling for the blonde. He constantly wet himself so Deidara had to force him into something that was like a diaper. When he first presented it to the redhead he'd been slapped in the face. Sasori had been pissed about it, yet when the blonde came back a few minutes later after crying in the bathroom the redhead had already forgotten about it. He'd forgotten his family and friends and in time they stopped visiting, but he never forgot Deidara. He always knew the blonde as brat, and it seemed like the only word he would say now over and over again.

Soon the food was finished and Sasori cuddled against the blonde. Deidara planted a soft kiss on the redhead's forehead and the redhead smiled dreamily.

"So what does Danna want to do?" Deidara no longer could talk to Sasori like an adult. He'd taken to using a baby tone with his lover, soft coos and always a repetition of the word Danna. Sasori barely knew his own name anymore, and Deidara knew one day soon that the redhead would forget him as well.

"Does Danna want to read a story?"

The redhead shook his head and looked uncomfortable.

"Aww did Danna wet himself again?" Sasori shook his head and Deidara's eyes widened. "You, you want to go to the bathroom un?"

He hadn't wanted that in months!

He nodded quickly and soon Deidara was guiding the redhead to the room. Sasori didn't know their house anymore, countless times Deidara found him wailing that he lost only to be in their kitchen. He had to go in with Sasori and clean him, but Deidara was happy. "Good job Danna!" Sasori gave him a smile and shakily stood up. Deidara then led him back to the bedroom. Deidara couldn't help but continuously praise the redhead. The redhead was beaming, and soon when he was placed back on his bed he looked up at the blonde.

"Brat."

"Yes Danna un?" asked Dediara when the redhead placed a hand on his cheek, a sign of affection between the two of them. Deidara smiled gently at his lover.

Some people wondered why Deidara did this, I mean there was no affection and definitely no sex, yet Deidara still loved his Danna even if he was a bit messed up he was still loved.

However Deidara had not been expecting what Sasori was about to do next. The redhead pressed his lips against the blonde's drawing them into a kiss. Deidara stared and opened his mouth a little in srurpised granting the redhead the access he so desperately wanted. Deidara was still frozen, however was fighting the urge to gag from Sasori's over excited tongue. Finally he returned the action as their tongues mixed and soon they both had to pull away for air. Deidara was panting heavily and Sasori had a smug look on his face.

"It makes me think that you're not crazy at all un, you're just messing with me to make my head hurt un."

"Now why would I do that?" He looked up quickly and swore the redhead had been talking to him. He shook his head, his Danna was the sick one not him.

"Deidara." Deidara froze, that voice, it was Sasori he knew that much. The redhead looked up at him with the childish smile on his face.

"Brat." Why didn't they sound the same! Were they two different people? Deidara fell off the bed in fear only to be stared at by the redhead who looked at him confused.

"Brat?"

"Deidara!"

Deidara's eyes shot open to where he was greeted by a painfully bright light. "Unnn." he whined turning in his sleep.

"Morning sleepy head." Deidara's ears perked and he looked up happily.

"Un!"

"Yes un." chuckled the redhead as he rubbed the blonde's bald head. "How do you feel?"

"O..k." The blonde spat out and looked up at his Danna for approval. He was awarded with a rub to his head.

"Good you're talking again. The doctors removed the tumor and they're hoping for some good progress."

Deidara listened to the gibberish with the same goofy smile. No matter how much he dreamed it Sasori wasn't the sick one.

He was.


	6. E is for Empyema!

"Hiya Danna un." The young redhead looked up surprised from where he'd been reading.

"Deidara?" The blonde scurried into the room and jumped on Sasori's bed careful not to move any of the tubes or anything that might cause the redhead to be in discomfort. They were both eighth graders and tonight was their graduation however Sasori would not be attending. After being hospitalized for fluid in his lungs he'd been told he'd have to stay in the hospital for quite a while. His chest had been drained only the day before leaving the redhead in pain with the symptoms still occurring. The doctors had told him they would pass in a few days, however graduation was out of the question.

"Shouldn't you be graduating?" Sasori asked only to begin coughing. A warm hand patted his back and he looked up at the blonde gratefully. "Thank you."

The hand that was on his back soon was on his forehead. "You still have a fever un! Aren't they supposed to be making you better?"

The redhead chuckled a little before the blonde snuggled up to him. Sasori was grateful for the warmth and tried to get closer to the blonde.

"Are you still hurting un?"

"Not right now I'm not."

"You're lying un." Deidara scolded looking at Sasori and a second later their lips met.

At first the relationship had just been an experiment to see what being gay was like.

However Sasori had become used to the blonde working next to him in art, his goofy smile, and his adorable uns. Deidara on the other hand became used to his Danna's warm embraces, the special smiles he seemed to save just for him, and the cute puppets that the puppet master sometimes made for him.

Then it had become a permanent thing.

They would make out in the hallways, bathroom, once on a lab table when the teacher didn't show up for class on time, locker rooms. They went to dances together and spent every moment together.

However the criticism for their decision wasn't hidden by anyone.

The teachers shot them glances whenever the two cuddled during free time or how they always worked together on assignments. The prinicipal had given them both looks of disgust when they'd shown up at the graduation dance together. The students were the worst, constantly harassing the two of them. Sasori could take it, but for Deidara it was a nightmare. Sasori had tried to protect the blonde however he couldn't always be there. He shuddered to remember the one time in between classes he'd walked into the bathroom only to find Kiba, Shikimaru, and Gaara holding Deidara face down in toilet water and giving the blonde multiple swirlies. When the others had noticed Sasori they'd run out of the room while Sasori had run straight to the blonde. Deidara's head remained down in the toilet water and he was positively afraid the blonde had drowned. He'd yanked the blonde out by the shoulders only to have Deidara vomit up water. He'd cried to Sasori and when the two didn't show up for class their true friends found them.

Their gang otherwise known as the Akatsuki made up of a small group of "special" kids. They'd taken care of the bullies however Deidara had stayed home for a good while after that incident with Sasori at his side.

It had been then that both men lost their virginity.

Sasori whimpered and Deidara pulled away with the realization he'd been lying on the redhead's chest.

"Sorry un!"

"You didn't answer my question." said Sasori with a bit of a tease in his voice.

"Uh which question was that un?" asked Deidara giving the redhead a confused adorable uke look which earned him another sweet kiss from the redhead.

"Why aren't you graduating?"

"Because you're not there silly!" Deidara said, as if it was the most obvious answer on the planet. "It's not fun if you're not there, besides if we don't graduate then we can repeat eighth grade together un!" He kissed the redhead's cheek. "We can cause the tachers even more misery than we do now!"

Sasori had to laugh at that, only to wince and begin coughing again. Deidara's hand was on his back once more helping the redhead cope with the coughs.

"I brought you something un!" Deidara said cheerfully plopping a takeout box on my lap.

"Brat what is this?"

"Dango un! And I didn't steal it from Itachi this time!" The blonde paled and Sasori smirked. Itachi had been noticing his dango stash dimishing as of late and he'd interrogated each member to find out who'd been taking the precious sweets.

Now Sasori had good leverage over the blonde.

"Danna please don't tell un!"

"Would I ever do that to you brat?"

"When you get mad you do." That was true. In situations when Sasori had become furious with the blonde he'd tattle to the other members. However ever since Kakuzu had tried to strangle the blonde for taking five bucks Sasori had really watched what he said. Deidara had cried all night and Sasori had been there to soothe the blonde and his dark purple bruises with ice and pain meds.

"I promise, cross my heart."

"Don't swear on it if you don't have one." teased Deidara and the redhead chuckled once more as their lips met again.


	7. F is for Flu

Sasori groaned as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked normal enough, however on the inside he was in complete turmoil.

His head was pounding, he was freezing, and his throat was killing him.

He was currently at a special art showing his boyfriend Deidara had begged him to see with him. He'd been unable to say no the blonde and had agreed to meet him at their favorite restaurant. He honestly didn't have the heart to cancel on Deidara. He couldn't imagine that happy go lucky face frowning as he tried so hard to hide his disappointment. No Sasori wouldn't do that, Sasori wouldn't….

A few seconds later he was leaning over the toilet and vomiting for all he was worth. He hated the blonde for treating him to lunch and if he hadn't eaten Deidara would've known something was up. He finished and stood up shakily flushing the toilet before going back to the mirror. He looked like hell now and he knew it.

Perfect, just absolutely perfect.

He tried to compose himself as best as he could before heading back outside again. Dozens of people were chattering causing his headache to worsen. He nearly lost his balance as he tried to squeeze through the huge crowding of people.

He was relieved when he spotted his love talking to someone and headed over to him. The person who Deidara was talking to left as the redhead approached and Deidara turned to look at him.

"Danna you took forever in there, what were you doing un?" The blonde seemed so happy and Sasori smiled.

"Nothing." The blonde was now frowning as he looked at the redhead. "What's wrong Dei?" he asked using the nickname Deidara loved.

"You don't look good Danna." Deidara said bluntly as was his style. Sasori was about to laugh and ask if the blonde was serious when a hand was placed on his forehead, a soft and perfectly ice cold hand that seemed to absorb all the heat from his forehead.

Suddenly he was being tugged by his arm and he looked up in a daze.

"Dei?"

"I'm taking you home un." The blonde sounded pissed. The redhead frowned, what had he done wrong this time? He was just trying to make the blonde happy. However soon Deidara's back became blurry to him. He decided to close his eyes for just a second.

* * *

><p>Deidara spun around at the sound of the crash only to see his boyfriend lying on the pavement.<p>

Worry took place over anger and he immediately leaned next to the redhead making sure there was no injuries from his fall. He hoisted his Danna into his arms and carefully began to walk making sure the redhead wasn't too uncomfortable.

"You're such an idiot un!" he scolded like a worrying mother. "You have a high fever and you came out un!"

With that Sasori shivered and immediately Deidara hugged him closer trying to share some of his body heat with the freezing redhead. He carried him to the redhead's car and placed him in the back seat. He sat in the driver's seat and cracked his knuckles.

Ok so he'd never driven this kind of car before, couldn't be that bad right?

* * *

><p>Two near accidents later….<p>

* * *

><p>Deidara hoisted the redhead in his arms and carried him into the blonde's apartment. It seemed that Sasori's fever had only gotten worse and the trembles from the redhead still weren't subsiding. He walked into his bedroom and took off the redhead's clothes leaving him in his boxers. Sasori was then covered by Deidara's blankets and extras he found lying around. He smiled as he placed a wet cloth on the redhead's forehead and the shakes subsided. He then went into the kitchen to make something simple for the redhead to eat.<p>

* * *

><p>"Urgghh." Sasori groaned as he woke up. The lights were on a dim setting thank goodness, although his brain was pounding so badly right now even the lightest setting hurt. He wondered where he was, wherever it was he hadn't been there before. Where was he! He began to feel queasy as the panic took over. A bottle of something was placed in front of his lips and he took a tiny sip. Ginger ale by the taste of it, and the tiny sip seemed to soothe his stomach a little. He drank a bit more before lying back down.<p>

"How're you feeling un?" He looked at the blonde's worried face.

"Deidara?"

"No your fairy godmother." The blonde answered with a nervous smile. This must have been Deidara's appartment. The blonde looked terrible to Sasori as he sat up.

"Dei are you ok?"

"Just sleepy un, are you hungry?"

"No, Dei you." However before he could get a word in the blonde had already walked off only to appear moments later with a bowl of hot soup. He gave it to the redhead and for a second Sasori stared at it. The hot liquid eased his sinuses and soon he tucked into it, the mixture of hot chicken and noodles making the redhead groan with pleasure. Soon he slurped down the liquid feeling full and better than before.

He turned to the blonde who was sleeping on a chair next to the bed. He gently tugged the blonde only to have his lover's eyes widen as he slipped from the chair and crashed through the floor.

"Un!" Deidara wailed in pain. In seconds Sasori was up as well only to get dizzy and flop to the floor himself. "Danna!"

The blonde was suddenly at his side picking the sick redhead up.

"Dei." The redhead groaned sickly as he was placed back into bed.

Something was placed on him that was extremely warm, a heating blanket. He curled up sleepily only to remember the blonde.

"Dei."

"Danna what do you need?" The redhead sat up much to the blonde's dismay however the expression changed to shock as the redhead tugged him in.

"Danna?"

"You need to sleep." The redhead scolded pulling the blonde into him.

"Danna I don't." However a soft snore told him the blonde was asleep. "If I get sick un you'd better treat me like I treat you!"


	8. G is for Gangrene!

"Fuck he's still not up?" Hidan asked. Tobi looked up at him from the bed he'd been watching for quite a few hours now. They were both in Deidara and Sasori's room and the blonde in question was currently in his bed, his eyes closed and he was dripping with sweat.

Tobi placed a gloved hand on Deidara's head. "He still has a fever Hidan san."

"What that cut wasn't that bad was it?"

Deidara was the only member of the Akatsuki to actually spar with Hidan. Most members thought it was idiotic but Deidara didn't care. The latest injury had been a cut in the leg which had caused the blonde to fall into a puddle of mud. However instead of cleaning his wound he kept fighting Hidan. At first it seemed like a normal scratch, however when Tobi had gone to seen his senpai the next morning the blonde refused to get up. Then Tobi had found the bandages the blonde had wrapped around the leg and Tobi could smell the infection from where he was standing.

It had been a few days now and Deidara had sprung a fever and wasn't waking up.

Tobi shook his head. "And his infection's getting worse Hidan san!"

"I know I can smell it." He groaned as he went to check the bandages only to recoil from the sight. He was used to maiming his victims and causing extreme pain, but nothing could have prepared him for a bright reddish bronze color that had taken over Deidara's leg. Now it was beginning to turn black at the edges.

"Fuck." He muttered angrily. "We've got another week until Sasori gets back, he's going to kill us."

"And for what reason would I have to kill you two?" Immediately the two spun only to see a blood drenched puppet master standing in the doorway.

"Sasori san!" said Tobi, trying to hide Deidara from view.

"Brat's still sleeping?"

"Yeah he wanted to greet you but he fell asleep, sill snepai!" Tobi laughed nervously and Sasori merely stared.

Hidan was smiling nervously. "So how'd your mission go?"

"Alright are you two drunk or did you get into Itachi's weed again."

"That was Deidara!" said Hidan angrily. Sasori still remembered the high blonde in their room; he had been fun to play with.

"Well we gotta run."

"See you Sasori san." Both bolted from the room.

Sasori was immediately suspicious and walked over to the blonde. Immediately he knew from the sweat that his blonde was running a fever, his placed his hand on the blonde's forehead only to get it coated in a thin layer of the blonde's sweat. The blonde was panting and his eyes opened a slit.

"Danna?" he whispered at the hazy figure standing above him. A cool hand was caressing his face and he nuzzled the hand. "Danna." He whispered with a smile. Suddenly the hand was withdrawn and Deidara was left with his sweat pillow as comfortable as that sounded. He closed hsie yes and when he woke up again he was being lifted, He whimpered and he heard his Danna shush him. Then he was placed back down, however the sheets had been changed on his bed and the pillow was soft and cold against his hot skin.

Something was pressed to his lips and he took a tiny sip, only to take huge gulps.

He knew his Danna was back now. His Danna was the only one that knew when Deidara was sick he loved hot chocolate made with milk, stirred so all the lumps were out, mixed with a sprinkle of cinnamon, topped whipped cream, marshmallows, more chocolate syrup, and rainbow sprinkles.

What, a villain can't enjoy rainbow sprinkles?

Soon after he drank it he felt himself getting drowsy. No doubt Sasori had put sleeping pills in his drink but why? Soon his eyes fluttered shut.

Sasori watched as the blonde drifted off into dream land and placed the pill container on his desk. "Sorry brat, but with what you've got you won't want to be awake for this."

He sat at the edge of the bed and pulled out the infected foot. He sighed as he eyes the small patches of dead skin. Gangrene as rare as it was in Suna did happen when one got stuck in quicksand wounded. The dead skin had to be removed and heavy doses of antibiotics had to be administered to the infection.

Judging by the state of the infection it hadn't been cleaned or even looked after properly.

He pulled out a scalpel he usually used for his puppets although it was now cleaned and disinfected and began to carve the brat's leg like a turkey. In truth he was removing the dead tissue from the leg. Since it was dead very little blood came out of the tissue. He sighed with relief seeing the small amount dead and once it was all out he stitched them shut with tiny stitches.

He knew how to sew, who do you think made the clothes his puppets wore?

After that he went to the main wound. He pulled out a good amount of disinfectant and began to cleanse the wound properly. The pus seemed to pour out of the wound in buckets and it took plenty of rags to clean it all up. Finally the open cut was cleaned and stitched shut. The he took a bottle of something and poured it over the blonde's leg, coating it in bright white cream. The he pulled out white bandages and wrapped it tightly around the blonde's leg. He then picked up the blonde and placed him on his own clean bed with fresh sheets. The fever was already decreasing and Sasori plopped down next to the blonde although he couldn't sleep maybe he'd just stay like this for a while.

* * *

><p>Deidara woke up to not feeling hot and sweaty, instead he felt cool and relaxed. To his delight he could feel his leg again, and even wiggled his toes. He reached his hand down to feel tight bandages around his leg. Oh right Danna was… "<p>

Brat what I have told you about cleaning your injuries."

sounding quite angry at the moment.

He felt himself being gently stroked and he moaned trying to get closer to the redhead he knew was behind him. He flipped over only to see the bright chocolate eyes smiling slightly at him. The redhead moved forward and kissed the blonde gently on the lips making the blonde groaned and close his eyes.

"Thanks Danna un."

"No problem." He sat up only to have the blonde flop into his lap and kiss him from there, cuddling the redhead closer. Sasori smiled and allowed the blonde access, however he would be the one claiming dominance. "Deidara?"

"Mmm?" the blonde asked.

"No more sparring with Hidan."


	9. H is for Heatstroke

Deidara and Sasori were currently returning from a mission from Suna. The mission had gone well enough Deidara hadn't been injured and Sasori hadn't lost any of his puppets although the mission had been delayed a bit from Deidara's stupidity. The blonde would admit to that and apologized to the redhead only to have Sasori go into Hiruko and completely ignore the blonde.

However in Sasori's anger he hadn't realized they were walking at noon through the desert, the hottest part of the day.

Deidara was lagging behind sweating profusely. It was getting harder for him to breathe right and everything kept going blurry and then focusing. His head was pounding and he longed for a drink of water in the canteen Sasori always kept on him. Deidara had tried to ask for a drink only to be cut off as Sasori tried to stab him with Hiruko's tail. So Deidara had remained quiet for his own sake.

"Danna un." His voice was dry and raspy now and he felt as though his mouth wasn't producing saliva. He ran a dry tongue over dry lips. "Can I please have a drink un?"

"Do you think you deserve a drink after your pathetic performance yesterday?" Deidara frowned, was he really going to prevent him from having a drink just because he'd done poorly?

"Yes un." Deidara answered stupidly only to dodge the tail as it shot out for him, ripping his Akatsuki cloak at the tail hit the fabric.

"Next time I won't miss now move your ass." Deidara frowned as his limbs froze up. He couldn't go on anymore and he felt as if his entire body was tinted with sunburn. He fell to the ground hissing at the feeling of sand grains against his skin.

Sasori kept walking, and in desperation of being left behind he called out "Danna!"

"Deidara what the hell!" Sasori started very angrily as Hiruko spun around only to discover the blonde was not behind him, instead laying down a few feet behind him. "Deidara?" The voice was softer now and lidded with confusion. Deidara watched as the puppet came closer and tried to push himself up only to have the world go blurry. He flopped back down and tried to soothe his stomach which was currently considering throwing up everything the blonde had eaten this morning which had only been a few rice balls.

"Danna I don't." Deidara stared only to be cut off. He heaved and with that retched in the sand under him.

Hiruko's tail immediately shot out but instead of hitting the blonde the metal cable gently wrapped around the blonde. Deidara was confused until he felt his arms go weak and realized if the tail had not been there he would've dropped back into his own vomit. The tail brought him over to a fresh patch of sand and he was dropped with a thud making him groan.

Suddenly Hiruko opened and Sasori himself came out. Deidara looked up at him weakly, his palm mouths didn't even think of coming out right now.

He shivered as his Danna's ice cold hands picked him up bridal style.

"Danna?"

"Shh." A soft soothe that Deidara desperately needed right now. He closed his eyes only to open them when the blistering sunlight faded. He saw some of Sasori's puppets out of their scrolls and dug into the sand trying to provide some shade for the blonde. He whimpered at Sasori's touch his blistering skin aching.

"Shit." Sasori sat on the ground and held Deidara like a baby. Small whimpers escaped the blonde when Sasori tried to caress him from the ache that the pressure provided on his burning skin. Something was placed against the blonde's lips and his eyes widened, water. He gulped the liquid down trying to get as much of the liquid down his eager throat.

Sasori chuckled to himself. The way Deidara was holding onto the canteen reminded Sasori of how a baby would contently suck at a bottle.

He deposited Deidara onto the sand and went back into Hiruko to get something. Soon the canteen was finished much to the blonde's dismay. He then realized Sasori had disappeared and sat up ignoring the blurriness of the world. He stood on his feet however was completely wobbly and nearly fell a few times. His handmouths finally reopened and began to lick the blonde's chapped lips on his hands.

"Deidara!" He flinched at the harsh sound of his Danna, but it wasn't true anger like earlier this time it was laced with worry and concern which was a tone Deidara loved to hear when he was like this. Something else was placed in his hands, another canteen. He jammed the neck of it into his mouth and began to drink the cool water that gushed out. After he emptied that one he began to feel better. He looked up to see the blurriness was fading and he could almost see his Danna's face clearly. Then something ice cold was applied to Deidara's body.

"It's just a little cream." Sasori whispered in his ear. "It'll help."

The burn was soothed slowly by the cream bringing a smile to Deidara's lips.

"We'll travel the rest of the way in Hiruko."

"But Danna." Deidara whined, "I'm fine now."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Look Deidara I'm trying to be nice for being such an ass earlier, now get in the damn puppet."

Deidara didn't question that and climbed into the puppet and had Sasori follow. The puppet was actually much more comfortable on the inside than it looked and a cool breeze seemed to come from nowhere.

"You have air conditioning and you were making me walk in that!" Deidara asked angrily only to have another canteen pushed into his hands.

He began to drink as Sasori took his place at the controls of Hiruko. Deidara frowned, where was he supposed to go? The puppet began walking and to Deidara's amazement you couldn't feel it from the inside. It was a pretty smooth ride, something that his uneasy stomach was grateful for.

"Danna?"

"Hmm?"

To Deidara Sasori had already shown the blonde how sorry he was and the blonde had already forgiven him.

"Can I sleep on you un?"

"What?" Sasori asked thinking the heat had finally gotten to his brat's head when the blonde crawled over to him.

The blonde climbed onto his lap and wrapped his legs around the puppet's body, their chests were pressed together, Deidara's arms were wrapped around Sasori's torso, and the blonde's head settled on Sasori's shoulder.

Sasori smiled. "That doesn't look to comfortable."

"It is un." said Deidara with a yawn.

A soft kiss was placed on his blistering cheek and Deidara fell asleep.


	10. I is for Insomnia

Deidara began to walk down the well-lit hallway.

Some people wondered why he worked at an insane asylum and he simply said it was because that was the only job out there that funded his sort of life style. Even he had no true idea why he worked here.

Maybe it was because he had a motherly instinct, some of the patients here couldn't eat by themselves or clean themselves even go to the bathroom by themselves.

His newest patient was a man known as Sasori Akasuna. The reports said he was extremely childish however was hormonal like a teenager; he could get extremely violent, and got little sleep. This boy was about fifteen years old. His grandmother had believed nothing was wrong with her grandchild and had kept him hidden in her house.

However a month ago when she died the boy was brought into the light for the first time and he'd been brought here.

It had to be about midnight right now and Deidara checked his watch just to make sure. He walked to his patient's door and opened it only to see the boy lying on his bed doodling with crayons. Pencils were scattered around the room broken and thrown against walls. Some even stuck into the ceiling showing the redhead's rage at something.

"Sasori shouldn't you be asleep un?" Deidara asked as he walked into the room, careful not to step on any of the splinters from the pencils. A smiling face turned to him and the teenager known as Sasori looked at him with sweet chocolate eyes.

"I promised mommy I'd get this picture done soon, and I don't want to keep her waiting." Right, his parents had been murdered in front of him when he was a child and ever since he'd suffered from hallucinations of seeing them.

"You can finish it tomorrow Sasori, but you need your sleep." Deidara said calmly placing his hand on top of one of the redhead's.

In seconds the redhead grabbed Deidara's hand in a death grip causing the blonde to yelp in pain.

"I wanna finish my picture!" The redhead's eyes were angry now and he gave the blonde a look that scared him.

"You can in the morning Sasori I promise un!"

"No now!" The pressure intensified and Deidara let out a cry. Suddenly his wrist was let go and the feeling of the blood running back into his fingers wasn't a pleasant one. "I'm sorry." Deidara looked up at Sasori to see him with childish tears in his eyes. "Please don't go, everyone else I hurt left me. I don't wanna be alone."

"Then maybe you should stop hurting people un." Deidara commented however he placed a reassuring hand on the redhead's back and sat down next to him. "I won't leave you un, Sasori I want to see you get better."

"So you'll be my friend then!" His voice was excited and seconds later Deidara found himself in an extremely painful hug. Sasori clearly didn't know his strength.

"Sasori let go un." The redhead dropped his arms and for once Deidara could see the redhead's face. He had bags under his eyes and looked as though he would fall asleep any moment. "You look sleepy Sasori."

"I am, but I can't sleep."

"Why not un?" Deidara asked as he began to rub the redhead's back.

"Cause whenever I do I have nightmares."

"Nightmares of what?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." He quickly changed the subject. Deidara tried to get back to it.

"But Sasori if you talk about it un maybe they'll." He was cut off by a pair of hands around his throat.

"I said shut up!" Sasori yelled angrily and Deidara choked. The redhead was much stronger than he looked.

Tears began to pour involuntarily from Deidara's eyes. "Sasori you're hurting me un!" his words weren't audible to him yet the redhead seemed to know and dropped Deidara with a guilty look on his face.

"Sorry."

"I know you are, all you need is a little sleep and I'm sure you'll be fine un."

"I want to sleep." Sasori admitted and Deidara began to clean off his bed. "Would you get me a bottle?" Deidara looked up to see the redhead looking hopefully at him. "Granny used to do it for me every night it helped me sleep."

"Sure un." He left the redhead's room and began to walk to the kitchen. This wasn't unusual, he'd fed people who were much older than Sasori from a bottle yet from Sasori it was kinda cute. Like Sasori was his own little baby. Soon a warm bottle of milk was prepared and he headed back to the redhead's room. He heard the sobs before he got there and when he walked in the redhead looked at him with tears in his eyes.

The redhead threw himself at the blonde cuddling into the blonde's embrace.

"Sasori?"

"You came back! I thought you were gonna leave!" Sobs escaped the redhead and Deidara placed the bottle on a table and then picked up the redhead. What Deidara was not expecting was a hard squeeze on his ass. He immediately looked at the redhead only to have Sasori give him a sly grin.

"Sasori that's bad!" Deidara scolded placing him back on the bed. He then retrieved the bottle and sat down on the bed himself. Sasori looked confused then climbed onto Deidara's lap and curled into a ball. Deidara began to feed the redhead watching as Sasori took long sucks from the bottle contently.

Suddenly he felt something begin to tickle his nipple.

"Sasori stop that." Deidara warned and the motion stopped. He kept sucking until the bottle was emptied and he gave a yawn in the blonde's lap. He cuddled against the blonde and fell asleep for the first time in a long time. Deidara rolled his eyes. He'd be here for the rest of the night.


	11. Joint Pains

"Danna." Deidara's mutters of embarrassment were soft as the redhead carried him into the base piggy back style.

Recently Deidara had been pushing himself beyond his limits when training. He wanted Sasori to see the effort he was putting in to try and become a better hand to hand combat fighter. However that push had resulted in his body completely shutting down in a sparring match with Sasori. He was lucky Sasori had been able to stop his stomach cable before it pierced the fallen blonde. The blonde's body was sore and exhausted and even worse Sasori was now angry at him.

Well Sasori hadn't exactly voiced if he was or wasn't yet but the blonde could tell that he was.

Sasori yanked off Deidara's thick and heavy robe, then deposited the blonde on his bed. Deidara's muscles immediately relaxed into the mattress finally getting the rest they deserved. His joints ached painfully and it seemed each throb of his heart caused pain to go throughout his entire body.

Sasori had left and the blonde sighed although he knew he should be thankful he'd gotten that much. He closed his eyes to sleep a bit, maybe that would help.

"Brat." Deidara was startled when he heard his name being said and looked up to see Sasori standing above him.

"Danna." Deidara said quickly immediately trying to sit up only to have the redhead assist him. His eyes widened as Sasori pulled him up to a sitting position and placed pillows behind his back to give him some support.

Since when had the redhead decided to be so nice?

He was handed two pills by the redhead which he took dry, a bit of a bad decision since they were extremely bitter and made him scrunch up his face with disgust as he tasted them going down. Sasori handed him a cup of water which he drank eagerly. He whimpered when the glass was finished for his body craved more.

"You've been working yourself too hard Deidara." Sasori scolded and the blonde sunk into his pillows. "You've been skipping meals in order to train and frankly you're scaring the shit out of me."

He was scaring Sasori? The blonde looked up confused as Sasori yanked up his shirt revealing the blonde's stomach.

There were taught muscles from his workouts however he noticed something that freaked him out. He could see the outline of his ribs through his skin, they weren't disgustingly jutting out but you could definitely see them.

"If you kept going with what you were doing there's no doubt you would've died." Deidara swallowed and his stomach let out a growl. A sandwich was placed in his hands. "Now eat that slowly while I try and help you with your muscles." Deidara took a bite of the sandwich only to want to spit it back out.

Now he saw why Sasori wanted him to eat it slowly, his body wasn't used to eating.

However after a few bites a sensation started in his back that made the blonde moan and lean backwards.

"Keep eating." Sasori's voice instructed and Deidara kept eating. Sasori was rubbing his back with lotion. The redhead had the blonde in his lap and the blonde's shirt pulled up.

Immediately all his sore joints and muscles relaxed and he leaned into the touch earning an approving grunt from Sasori.

"Danna that feels so good un."

"Orochimaru used to do it for me before I became a puppet." Sasori whispered in Deidara's ear making the bomber tingle with excitement.

"Un." he said with a deep sigh of relaxation. Soon the rubs began to work on his shoulder going straight to the elbows. "Ah un." he whimpered as Sasori began rubbing harder.

"It'll feel good later." Sasori promised and Deidara trusted him. Soon he went from the elbows to his hands, however he rubbed the lotion off on his pants and instead covered his hands in plain water. Deidara looked confused until the puppet master began rubbing his hands.

The dry and overworked clay mouths immediately began lapping at the moisture and the deep cracking that had formed on the lips of the hand mouths began to bleed and turn the water a light pink, however they were being cleaned from clay and other debris.

Deidara whimpered a little when Sasori's hands went to his chest and his discomfort showed.

"Easy brat." Sasori warned as he pulled his hands away to put on more lotion. Deidara nodded and allowed the redhead to continue, however when the redhead's delicate fingers brushed a spot on his ribs he squeaked. "You hurt yourself?" Sasori asked crossly as he brushed the spot again.

This time however Deidara giggled. "Danna don't!" Deidara said with a giggle.

Sasori stared then smirked. "Oh you mean don't do this?" His fingers began to gently scratch the blonde's side causing the blonde to burst out in laughter.

"Danna stop that tickles!" Deidara yelled lying back on the bed. Sasori sat on his hips and tickled more causing the blonde to start crying. "Danna can't breathe un!"

Then the redhead's lips were pressed against the blonde's. Deidara's eyes widened and he groaned. Their tongues lightly tapped and Deidara saw a streak of white shoot across his vision.

Of course the blonde had no oxygen in his lungs which easily could've been the problem, but the redhead was kissing him!

Actually kissing him!

When they pulled apart Deidara saw something in the chocolate eyes he'd honestly never seen before or even thought could exist. He always thought they were fake like the rest of his body.

"You worried me Dei." The redhead muttered as he cradled the blonde close.

"I'm sorry un." Deidara whispered as the redhead maneuvered himself under the blonde. Deidara sprawled out on top of the redhead allowing the tense muscles to relax and become comfortable. "So we'll be back to training tomorrow?" asked the blonde sleepily. Sasori pulled the blanket up on the blonde's bed and hugged him.

"Nope."

"No un?"

"You're going to need a few more days to heal."

"Why un I feel fine."

"Now you do, but tomorrow morning you're going to be sore as hell." Deidara stared only to be pounced by the redhead. They locked into a kiss once more with their eyes filled with lust.

Deidara smiled, that soreness would definitely be worth it.


	12. K is for Kidney Stones

Sasori drowned deeply as he tried to relieve himself, only to stop and sigh as pain began to course through his body. It had been happening for a while now, every time he tried relieving himself or doing something a little bit dirtier pain would just come and wouldn't stop. It wasn't only then either, sometimes when he was in class the pain would just come, sometimes it was bearable, other times he'd asked to be excused, and other his muscles would clench as he put his head down trying not to show the emotion of pain.

He hated emotions deeply; they always had to make everything worse. They made you cry, they made you hate, they made you depressed, all things he didn't want to be or ever want to feel again.

A soft knocking caught his attention and he sighed knowing his grandmother would never get the door, too lazy to do so. The knocking persisted and Sasori quickly pulled up his pants, forgoing washing his hands in order to not keep the person waiting. He personally hated waiting and in turn he hated to be the cause of people waiting. He opened the door only to sigh in exhaustion.

"Brat."

"Hey Danna." The blonde greeted his superior, a smile lighting up his features. Sasori sighed deeply and stepped away from the door to allow the blonde in. Deidara was in the same grade as Sasori although he was a bit more childish than the serious redhead. The truth was the blonde had always had a crush on the redhead, however Sasori was so afraid of emotions he wouldn't even consider the promise of a relationship which hurt them both. Deidara stepped in and smiled at the redhead. "So Danna what are you up to?" At that a wave of pain hit the redhead and he winced but quickly wiped it off his face.

"Nothing much, just working."

"Oh, well I was wondering un." Deidara started, slightly nervous, maybe we could go to the movies, that new movie with that insane psycho killer is playing and I know how much you like blood and stuff."

Well those weren't the parts of the movie that Sasori enjoyed although he could see why the blonde would think that way. What he really liked were the killers themselves, how they felt absolutely nothing and it was enough for them to be referred to as monsters. He wondered how they'd hardened themselves to feel like that and if they could do it maybe it was possible for him as well which is why he studied the movies while he was making puppets. Another wave of pain hit him and he flinched again.

"Uhm now's really not a good time brat." he said, trying to kick the blonde out before the pain became too much so he could into his warm and comfy bed to sulk.

"Oh, well then maybe we could just hang out?" he offered and Sasori stared back, was Deidara really that dense.

"Deidara I really." At that moment a huge bout of nausea hit him and before he knew it he was throwing up onto the floor, spattering his shoes and Deidara's with the mess. He retched afterwards although nothing would come up.

"Danna, are you sick?" Well not shit Sherlock, Sasori wanted to growl but right now the pain was really becoming intolerable.

"Yeah." he said weakly, wondering if this would get the blonde out.

"Here, you should be lying down then un!" the blonde scolded as he grabbed Sasori's hand and led him to the couch, however when the redhead sat pain shot up causing him to groan and clutch the area.

"Danna what's wrong?" asked Deidara and he could hear the blonde slightly panic. "Does it hurt?" Right now the pain was so bad all he could do was nod, yes Deidara it fucking hurts. He tried to breathe deeply to lessen the pain but it wasn't going away this time, in fact it felt like it was getting worse. He felt something cool next to him and he leaned towards it, tears running down his eyes. "D..Danna?" Deidara asked with a slight stutter.

"It hurts." he whimpered, the shell finally breaking in hope of pain relief. "Make it stop!" Deidara was now way past panic mode and Sasori felt the pain getting worse and worse. He closed his eyes and finally the pain knocked him out.

* * *

><p>A strange beeping caught his attention when he opened his eyes. He felt groggy and confused about what had happened and blinked trying to regain his train of thought.<p>

"Danna?" a soft voice asked and he turned to see Deidara sitting next to the bed.

"Where am I?" he asked as he tried to sit up only to have his body not respond and lay limp on the bed.

"The hospital un." Deidara replied as he put his hand on Sasori's arm, it felt warm and sweaty but it felt nice.

"Oh." he responded sleepily.

"You had a kidney stone Danna, they said it was there for a while." A kidney stone? He almost growled at the word as it entered his mind. All that pain for one little stupid stone? "They said you had to be in pain for a while, why didn't you say anything un?" Deidara sounded upset and Sasori sighed, this was the reason he'd never be in a relationship with the blonde, right there were plenty of emotions that he didn't want to be responsible for.

"They get it out?" he asked and he heard Deidara take a deep breath.

"Yes un. They put you on some kind of machine thing, you didn't need surgery but they're still going to keep you for observation."

Great, there went his puppet plans for the night.

"Uhm Danna." said Deidara and the redhead sighed again looking at the blonde. "

Yes brat?" Deidara stared before he sighed as well.

"Nothing." and with that he gathered his things and left the room. Sasori watched, his mind telling him he had done the right thing while his heart screamed for Deidara to come back. He laid down on the pillow and sighed, the pain in his hurt had to hurt worse than that stone ever could.


End file.
